We watch anime when we are happy and when we are sad. There are lots of anime for almost any kind of mood we are in. But what about when we hate ourselves? Does a mood like that exist? If such a mood exists, then do we have anime for such a kind of mood? Well, let’s find out. What exactly is this feeling when we hate ourselves? We all have been there, haven’t we? We have had this feeling, or maybe still are, but don’t quite understand why we are feeling this way, but we do.
The feeling of self-loathing and resentment. Reasons can be anything for this feeling. Maybe guilt or regret that you can’t get over. But, later, you realize that you don’t hate this feeling, but yourselves. This feeling is like a cage that you fall in love with.
Many people say that anime is for kids. They surely don’t know this feeling of self-hatred. And, they are the same people who’ll want to ban the anime when it starts getting darker, saying that it’s too violent for kids. Guess what? Anime was never made for kids. Especially the list we are about to present. If you understand this feeling of hating yourself or if you want to hate yourself, then you are in luck. Here’s the list of Top 10 Anime Series To Watch If You Hate Yourself.
1. Plastic Memories
If you are heartbroken already, but you hate yourself so much that you want some more heartbreaks, then Plastic Memories is the anime you must watch. Here, you’ll get your broken heart fixed first by falling in love again and then get your broken all over again.
Tsukasa Mizugaki is a failure. Already relatable? Kidding. But, he somehow manages to get himself a job at Sion Artificial Intelligence Corporation (SAI Corp). Here, Giftias, human-looking, highly advanced androids, are manufactured. And these androids have a short lifespan of about 9 years. After this expiry period, these Giftias start losing their memories and become hostile.
So, they need to be put down after this time period. And Tsukasa got this job, and his partner is Isla, a Giftia. Guess what happened next. Yes, they fell in love. That’s beautiful. But, we guess he forgot the short life span of Giftias. There we go, the rest you can figure out on your own. You got yourself another heartbreak along with more depression now.
2. Neon Genesis Evangelion
If the existential crisis was an anime, it would be called “Neon Genesis Evangelion”. Shinji is a 14-year-old kid who doesn’t have a mother. And his father is too busy making a clone of his dead wife that he abandons his only child. Depressing enough? No? After a long time, Shinji was called back by his father, only to find out later that his father had his selfish reasons. Shinji was the only one who could pilot the Evangelion Unit 01. Sounds like a lot of emotional damage for Shinji. No matter what kind of philosophies are shown in this anime series to blow our minds, the main issue will always be the trauma Shinji is going through.
Neon Genesis Evangelion will either make a lot of sense or no sense at all. But, a reason to hate yourself? You’ll get that a 100%.
One of the reasons to hate ourselves has to be our actions. We may have a good intention behind a certain action, but when we face the consequences of our action, that makes us hate ourselves. If we choose to avoid taking any action to avoid the consequences, we still end up hating ourselves for not taking any action when things could have been different if we had done something.
Dr. Kenzou Tenma is an elite neurosurgeon whose life was going fine. But, one incident changed that. While going to perform a surgery, he was ordered to do the surgery on a different patient instead at the last moment. He was successful in it, but his previous patient died because of that. What good is appreciation when you are not happy with what you did? So, the next time when a similar incident happened, he chose to perform surgery on his current patient. He was successful again, but the other patient, who was also the mayor, died. This time people were not happy with him.
This was just a little incident, and we are sure you can already relate to this. But, you’ll find even more disturbing moments that will change your perspective of life and death.
4. Clannad: After Story
They say life is full of ups and downs. But, how would you feel when you learn to fly, and then you fall down straight to earth? You somehow managed to survive. But then somebody lifted you up, only to throw you down even harder. Doesn’t sound pleasant.
Clannad: After Story will give you a series of heartbreaks that you’ll fear falling in love with. The only thing you’ll be left with is the thought that “If love causes this much pain, then what’s the point anyway?”. Tomoya Okazaki falls in love with Nagisa Furukawa. Love is something we’ll never get. So, hating yourself already? Little did Tomoya know that Nagisa had a chronic illness. But, it is what it is. So, they get married. They get pregnant.
Looking good so far. And the chronic illness slaps up right in our faces. Right after giving birth to their baby girl, Ushio, Nagisa dies. Now, Tomoya is suffering from depression, just like us. But, after a certain time, Ushio lifts him back up. Everything starts to look bright again. And the chronic illness that Ushio got from heredity kicks us right in our guts.
Rest figure out yourself. We are busy crying and hating ourselves now.
5. Akame Ga Kill
This is not an anime to have a favorite character. We have a habit of keeping a favorite character in every anime. Butt, this anime won’t let you do it. If you make anyone your favorite character, you’ll regret it sooner or later. We think we have seen enough anime that we can handle deaths, right? Well, Akame Ga Kill makes you think again about handling deaths. Characters like Chelsea, Mine, Sheele, Susanoo, Lubbock, Bulat, Leone, and so many more made a special place in our hearts first, then left our hearts broken by dying brutally.
Even Esdeath’s death was sad. All she wanted was love from Tatsumi, but in the end, all she got was death. But at least she got to die with Tatsumi. By the time this anime ends, we’ll all feel dead and empty inside.
6. Domestic Girlfriend
This anime is the definition of tragedy. Just when you think that things can’t get any worse, life slaps you with something even worse than the thing that you thought was the worst. Natsuo happens to fall in love with his teacher, Hina Tachibana. But, accepting the fact that there can’t be any future between the two, he chose to move on and go find someone of his own age. In a mixer, an emotionless girl, Rui, offers him to sleep with her. To move on from Ms. Hina Tachibana, Natsuo decides to continue with Rui. A few days later, his single father asks him for permission to marry someone he fell in love with. Wanting his father to be happy again, Natsuo agrees. So, his father invites the woman he wants to marry. Her two daughters came with her too.
Now, the tragedy begins. One daughter was Ms. Hina, and the other daughter was Rui. Life never misses a chance to punch you in the face.
7. Elfen Lied
What can jealousy make you do, you can never imagine. And once the deed is done, the only thing you’ll be left with is regret and self-hatred. Lucy, a special human breed with some deadly powers, did something terrible to Kouta, the only person she fell in love with, out of jealousy. She ended up killing Kouta’s sister, who left a terrible trauma to him that he forgot about this incident as a coping mechanism. Later in the future, they meet again, but with no memories. Lucy is living with a different personality as her coping mechanism, but when her real self takes over, self-hatred eats her inside out so much that she ends up hurting everyone near her. How will Kouta accept her when he regains his memory back, knowing that the one whom he loved is the one who killed his sister?
Also Read: Saddest Moments Seen In Anime (2020 – 2021)
8. Scum’s Wish (Kuzu No Honkai)
Love is supposed to heal wounds and end wars. But what if love is the very thing that leaves a scar on you forever and creates an endless war inside your head with yourself? Hanabi has always loved her childhood friend, Narumi. But Narumi is in love with his colleague, Akane. Mugi is in love with his homeroom teacher, Akane. But, Akane doesn’t exactly believe in love but deep down needs love that she never knew about. Trying to fill the hole inside her heart, Akane tried being with a lot of people, but in the end, she ended up with Narumi, who made her realize about love.
Hanabi and Mugi tried being a couple to fill their hearts. Love, which was supposed to be peaceful, can be chaotic as well. Love is something that doesn’t allow us to hate the ones we love. But, we end up hating ourselves for loving that person.
9. From Me To You (Kimi Ni Todoke)
Well, some love makes us realize that we are better off without love, as love is that painful. Whereas some love just gives us butterflies and makes us want to have it. But the fact that we can’t have it makes it painful too. Such is the story of Sawako and Kazehaya. Looking at their love makes us believe in love again and makes us want to have love again. But, that is exactly the reason why we end up hating ourselves. Because we dared to dream the impossible. Knowing that we can never have what Sawako and Kazehaya have makes us want to hate ourselves even more.
10. Welcome To The N.H.K.
What isolation can make you think is beyond imagination. This is the story of Tatsuhiro Satou, a 22-year-old college dropout who has been living in isolation for about four years now. And he started to believe that this is all a conspiracy to keep him from doing something fruitful in life. On top of that, he believes that this conspiracy is done by an evil organization called the Nihon Hikikomori Kyokai (N.H.K.) whose sole purpose is to ruin his life.
His life starts to take a good turn when he meets Misaki Nakahara. At least that’s what he believed in the beginning. Now he is stuck between the thoughts that if this is real, then to be able to be with her, he has to face the society that he doesn’t want to. And the second case, what if Misaki is a part of this evil organization N.H.K too, to make his life even more miserable.