Get ready, it’s time for the Golden Wedding. Yes, for the first time in many years, the Bachelor franchise is harkening back to the good old days when its couples got publicly hitched, and audiences were spoon-fed plugs of Neil Lane rings and other endless amounts of product placement.
Get ready to watch what is likely going to be the high point of the franchise for the year, and it’s only January 4th as Gerry and Teresa get set to be married in a 2 hour special that had me giggling for all the wrong reasons.
As someone watching a wedding where 20 of the groom’s exes are invited, I’m horrified. And as someone who’s watching it all get controlled and televised by ABC, I’m a little excited but horrified overall.
Ending Explained
So most of the special actually takes place on this red carpet, where it seems as though the Bachelor people just gave the mic to a bunch of Golden Bachelor alumni without preparing and said, “Relax, what’s the worst that could happen?”
Actually, setting up Kathy here with hosting duties was the chaotic choice I needed to start this year. Because sitting here and watching this was like attending a wedding where you only faintly know a few people, and you’re really just waiting for it to begin. Suddenly, I’m like, alright, an hour of watching this, and I think I can make it.
Ohh, and if you didn’t watch the show, all these women were contestants from Gerry’s seniors-only season of The Bachelor. With Leslie being the runner-up, it’s wild that she’s even here when, just a few months ago, she was heartbroken by Gerry. So, while we wait for the ceremony to begin, production fills us up with updates on Gerry and Theresa, like when their families got together for the holidays.
They then throw out previous Bachelor televised wedding couples, Trista & Ryan and Jason & Molly, to show us that this process really does work and you better not check the recent Bachelor breakup news. But, my, it was the joy of my night watching Jesse Palmer and the crew try to hold on to the reins while these Golden Bachelor ladies just grabbed their camera time by the throat and took control of this special.
Braden Proposes Christina Mandrell
From here, production then throws in Braden and Christina Mandrell, who, despite only being mentioned briefly at the end of last season of Bachelor in Paradise, still managed to somehow become the most successful couple from that season. And boy, Brayden, a man who’s wonderfully living in the air like this guy, falls hard and fast. So hard and fast, in fact, that straight-on purposed her in the middle of the wedding.
OK, ain’t no way this man proposed at someone else’s wedding. I mean, at this point, I’m shocked they also didn’t come in wearing white.
So Jesse Palmer then sprints as fast as he can over to Gerry to make sure that this has his approval and people can stop talking. Jesse said, “Just so everybody out there knows, Brayden actually called Gerry and Teresa, and he made sure he got their blessing before he proposed. Pretty thoughtful of you.”
The Bachelorette Party
We then cut to Teresa’s Bachelorette party. Some women came and were like, “You ladies, like, redefined beauty from the inside out, and today we’re gonna capture that on camera, so we’re going to do a boudoir session.”
I’m not sure who’s going to get all these photos apart from Theresa’s and Gerry’s. And, of course, Sandra’s to Denzel Washington. Sandra was like “I’m going to pretend in my head, I’m posing for Denzel. I have many X-rated thoughts on my mind about Denzel.”
Throw all the other names out the window and make this woman the Golden Bachelorette. Unless, of course, Denzel sees this and scoops her up. Then Susan comes in and decides to replay one of the more talked about moments from the Golden Bachelor season.
Susan started with, “Never have I ever had a lap dance.” This means it’s time for Gerry to turn off the TV as Susan gets her wish, and ohh, yeah, you know, Sandra’s living her best life. Susan was like, “Sandra was playing the bongos on a six-pack.” Sandra was like, “I tried to tweak his nipples, but he moved too fast for me.”
It’s at this moment that we cut back to the live wedding, where Sandra introduces us to her date. All right, I need to see this wedding dress code because her date came in with a blazer and nothing under it, and this seems a little much.
Anyways, back to Kathy and Charity, and the drinks have been flowing. So much so that Kathy was like, “Let me just say Charity, I’m taking your man, I’m going, Let’s go.” And I was like, “OK, what even is this special?”
The Golden Bachelor Live Wedding Ending Explained
So, I guess at this point, production decides to move things along before things get too unhinged, and we finally get to see the wedding. First, with this little pre-recorded moment with Gerry and Theresa, we get to see some classic Gerry sobbing. While talking to Teresa, Gerry was like, “I couldn’t have found a better partner, somebody that makes me a better person. It’s just incredible that I found someone like you.
Then Gerry comes down the aisle to meet Susan, who’s officiating the wedding, which is just wonderful. Imagine getting married, knowing the woman who’s officiating said this to your groom: “And by the way, Gerry, you see these heels, I’m very comfortable with six inches.” The Bachelor world is truly a remarkable place.
This is then followed by Theresa entering in her beautiful gown and or, sorry, everybody pauses because we’ve got a commercial break. All right, now that we’re back, Theresa can walk down the aisle, Gerry can start bawling his eyes out, and Susan can begin to officiate. And boy, does she actually knock this one out of the park.
We then get words from Gerry and Theresa’s kids, which is, of course, beautiful but also really weird because, once again, it gets interrupted by a commercial. One of the family members was like, “I can’t even wait to see what the future holds; I love you both so much, and please take me to Italy with you.”
The Vows
Aways after that, though, we finally see Teresa and Gerry share their vows. But whoever’s directing this thing is absolutely brutal because once Gerry starts his vows, they decide, you know, who we need to cut to… Leslie. OK, it’s only January 4th, but that camera guy is already on the naughty list for that one.
So Herry starts with his vows: “My ear that you whispered in when you said the I love you, but my very soul. It wasn’t my lips you kissed the clear frosting, but it was my soul.” But the rings then get exchanged, and it’s time for Susan to make it official. So Susan is like, “By the state of California, it is my honor and privilege to announce you, husband and wife, you may kiss your bride.”
Make Kathy A Permanent Part Of the Bachelor Franchise
This means the party has now begun. Charity and Dalton announced their wedding for fall 2025, and Kathy is still hosting. Then, when talking to Zach and Katie, Kathy was like, “If and when you guys get married, I already have your wedding gift picked out for you guys. It’s kittens and lots of them, a passel of kittens.” Can we get her working the Paradise bar with Wells, but instead of dishing out drinks, she’s just taking them? I’m all for that.
Also, Jesse Palmer can now finally go home to his pregnant wife, who’s literally about to give birth any day. And there you have it: The Bachelor franchise starts in 2024 with a wedding, and it’s all downhill from here. So that’s it for this Ending explanation and recap of the Golden Bachelor Alive wedding. More bachelors are coming your way at the end of the month with Bachelor Season 28, Joey’s season.
