Matt James and Rachael Kirkconnell, who met on Matt’s season of The Bachelor, have ended their relationship after four years together. They often shared their lives on social media, showing happy moments as a couple. However, their relationship had a difficult beginning.
During Matt’s season, Rachael faced criticism for past racist actions. Old photos showed her attending an “antebellum plantation-themed ball” with her college friends. This event was hosted by a fraternity and caused a major backlash.
Since Matt was the first Black Bachelor, people questioned Rachael’s participation. Many believed the criticism was justified, and Matt had reasons to be concerned. Now that they have broken up, some wonder if their relationship was always bound to fail.
Matt James Gave Rachael False Hope
Matt understood Rachael’s past but still decided to be with her. He knew the situation and chose her anyway. That is why Rachael was shocked when he announced their breakup on Instagram, just before she boarded a 12-hour flight.
Rachael recently spoke about the breakup on Alex Cooper’s podcast, Call Her Daddy. Fans were confused because, just 12 hours before the announcement, they were in Tokyo together. They looked happy and shared their trip on social media.
“He said that at the end of the day, there were just qualities about me that he worries about having in a wife,” Rachael said. She explained that after four years together, Matt should have known whether he wanted to marry her. “He just didn’t want me to end up resenting him by wasting more of my time if it didn’t happen (a proposal),” she added.
Matt told her, “You’re beautiful, smart, and funny, and you’ll find someone. You’ll find a guy that will love you for you.” He just did not believe he was that person. Rachael found this hard to hear because, days earlier, he had made her believe the opposite.
Matt’s words sound like gaslighting, which means emotionally manipulating someone. He praised her while also expressing doubts about their future. He made her feel guilty for possibly resenting him when, in reality, he already resented her enough to end the relationship. He misled her for a long time, even though he always knew he did not see a future with her.
Matt and Rachael Had Different Personalities
Rachael also said a disagreement over a restaurant played a role in their breakup. Matt enjoys trying new food and reviews restaurants on social media. Rachael felt bad for choosing a restaurant that did not match his taste. She thought she had disappointed him.
Matt told her she should not be upset. According to Rachael, he said, “What is going to happen in life when something really terrible happens? How are you going to react to things that are actually really scary?” She felt that he dismissed her emotions instead of understanding them.
This disagreement showed their different personalities. Rachael is sensitive and overthinks, while Matt struggles to relate to those feelings.
Their relationship had more problems than fans realized. Maybe Matt never fully moved past Rachael’s past actions. If that was the case, it was unfair to let her believe a proposal was possible. The Bachelor is available for streaming on Hulu in the US.
